For the past six years, I have been waiting for this opportunity.

And I just missed it.

I can’t believe myself. I can’t believe my lack of determination and how it was so easy for me to let it slip away. What a letdown. This is definitely not the determined and hardworking self that I know.

It’s like I’m in the top two of the competition and I just quit. It’s as my dream was being handed to me but I just wasn’t there to receive it.

Maybe I didn’t want it enough.

Still, I’d like to believe that there is a reason for this. Maybe the breakthrough is near. It better be because I need some sort of redemption.


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